1. Move from feeling unsure & inexperienced, inadequate & inhibited to having confidence in yourself as a sexual partner – knowing that you can please her and yourself
2. Learn how to handle a loss of erection – it doesn’t have to kill the experience
3. Rid yourself of performance anxiety and really be present for the full enjoyment of sex
4. Control when you ejaculate – Yes, you can!
5. Rebound from distracting thoughts during sex
6. Develop realistic expectations about sex
7. Get all those embarrassing questions you’ve always wondered about answered: where is that G-Spot? Am I normal? Do I last long enough? Why don’t I want to have sex more? Can I ever get past a really badly humiliating sexual experience? Are we just sexually incompatible? Am I using porn too much?
8. Increase your comfort with talking about sex with your partner – and help her do this as well
9. Get the playfulness and fun back into sex
10. Save your relationship
Your sexual arousal template is just that: what turns you on and why. It is part of your sexual identity, and it is a complex thing affected by many factors. Sometimes people come to see me because they are troubled by some of their fantasies, desires, impulses or actions. They may want help with determining which fantasies they really want to live out, and which they prefer to keep as just fantasies. Some want help understanding their orientation – because they have conflicting feelings and are confused. Some come in because they have a fetish which is disturbing to them or to their partner. Some are not sure who they are sexually at all, and need help exploring themselves. Some want to know if they are normal.
Jack Morin has written extensively on this topic in his book called The Erotic Mind. I often use the book as a springboard for understanding with my clients. I can help you to understand yourself and your desires, and help to put you at peace with them. I can help you navigate difficult conversations with your partner and have productive discussions.
For example, a client might have a fetish around wearing a particular item of clothing – such as gloves or women’s underwear, or loin cloths during sex. The partner is not so enthused about it, so they come in for sex therapy to fully appreciate their dilemma, and to work towards a solution that will work for them. Or one partner comes in individually before even revealing the fetish to a new partner to learn how to approach this with their partner.
It can be difficult to talk about these issues, but doing so can make a huge difference in how you see yourself or relate to your partner.
Young men are taking Viagra, Cyallis and Levitra now. I’m talkin about men under 30 years old. Many times, they are under the age of 25. They tell me they take it as “insurance” – to make sure they have no erection difficulties. Some have never had any problems with Erectile Dysfunction. Some have had one or two experiences that left their confidence shaken – so much that they sought out the little blue pill from their doctors. And yes, some do have ED.
So what is my concern? Sex therapy could help these guys overcome ED. Sex therapy could boost their sexual confidence and overall self esteem. It could help them understand the high expectations they have of themselves around sexual performance, and develop new, more realistic thinking about sex. And then, they wouldn’t have to buy Viagra for the rest of their lives. They wouldn’t have embarrassment or shame about using these drugs. Or put medications that some don’t even need into their bodies on a regular basis. Doesn’t that sound like a better plan?
If you’d like to take advantage of my free 25 minute phone consultation in order to determine if sex therapy is for you, give me a call.
I know it can be stressful and embarrassing to come in for sex therapy.
My clients tell me often that they postponed making an appointment
for months because of the embarrassment of talking about their
very personal concerns with a sex therapist. Now, you can call in for
your sessions, and have the convenience of staying at home. You
don’t even have to be seen – but you can still get the benefits of sex
therapy. For some people, this makes it so much easier. It makes it
possible to get started immediately on resolving your sexual problems.
Let me know if you’d like to try this option. Let’s talk.